QUESTION ONE (POSED BY YOUR DAD): You see that Papa John’s guy? I’m telling you: Obamacare is going to ruin this country. I know Jeff [your 22-year-old brother who is currently insured on your family’s health plan as a direct result of Obamacare] went knocking on doors for our “president” because he’s never had a real job and doesn’t know what it’s like to pay taxes just so a bunch of people can get a free ride. But I’m not mad, because he’ll figure it out, once he gets out into the world, and sees what it’s like to make payroll or buy a house after the government’s gotten through with you.
ANSWER: Here’s what I think about Skyfall. It was an awesome movie — and, wow, Sam Mendes totally brought it — but it wasn’t a Bond movie, you know? It was so cool and Bardem was ah-may-zing but seeing where James Bond grew up? That’s more Batman, right? What do you think, cousin Sam?